


Safe Port

by happinesssdeceit (crescenttwins)



Series: Last Words Soulmate AU [8]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Blood and Injury, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Soulmarks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3990562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescenttwins/pseuds/happinesssdeceit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A moment of friendship and healing to answer: "did Hide know what Kaneki's soulmark said?"</p><p>AKA the soulmate AU returns to pre-canon and less angst (maybe)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe Port

**Author's Note:**

> For the Anon ask, "did hide know what kaneki's soul mark said". 
> 
> “There is no safe port; there are only ports that we feel ourselves safe.” - Mehmet Murat ildan
> 
> ANGST WARNING: Please take breaks between parts if you are experiencing any kind of distress; and let me know if there are trigger tags or warnings you would like to be added to any installment in this series.

The first time Hide sees Kaneki’s soul mark, he doesn’t recognize it for what it is.  Nor the second time, nor the third.  Because Kaneki’s soul mark is a subtle scrawl across his shoulder, so much more quiet and gentle compared to his own mess of a mark on his abdomen. And it seems gentle, for all that Hide has never read the mark, but it seems cruel as well, light enough that it could simply fade away.  

Across the street from Hide’s part time workplace, Kaneki is small, seems small in the way he’s hunched over his book. The crowd is surging around him, swallowing his existence with a mass of energy and timing.  Kaneki is waiting, and Hide winces as a man pushes against him, making his book drop to the sidewalk.  His friend’s eyes fix onto the back of the rushing businessman, already crossing at the next street. Hide nestles his chin in his hand, leaning on the counter to watch.  

After a moment, Kaneki sighs, leans down to pick up his book and brush dust off of the somber cover. From the color, Hide can almost squint out the image of two hands clasped on the cover, and he imitates a shudder— another horror novel.  It’s scary, the things that Kaneki layers into his mind like nothing: people torn apart by creatures that wear masks of humanity, betrayal of the deepest relationships, abandonment.  Kaneki slips the book into his bag, and Hide leans forward, curious.  A glance towards his watch, and Kaneki lifts his eyes to meet Hide’s directly.

Hide freezes in surprise, elbow slipping off the counter, and barely stops himself from face planting into the counter with his other arm.  His co-worker snorts a laugh, and he lets a giggle escape before pushing himself off the counter. A rag slides down the counter towards him, and he wipes down the area with round swipes, thanking her. Hide stores the rag under the counter, glancing upwards quickly as the store’s doors slide open.  Kaneki smiles at him as he enters the store, and a sheepish twin finds its way onto Hide’s mouth.  

“Yo, Kaneki,” Hide greets, “What can I get for you?”

“A best friend,” Kaneki returns, wry.  “You were supposed to be off ten minutes ago.”

Hide blinks, turns to stare at the clock on the wall.  He squints at it, not sure when the minute hand had moved so far. “Oh, crap— uh, take a seat— you can order something, my treat! I just need to clock out really quick.”

“I’ll be here,” Kaneki responds, “Take your time.”

Hide nods, runs to the back, to stick his cap and shed his work clothes for casual, jamming his ticket into the machine to mark his clock out time.  When he gets his ticket back, he makes a quick trip to his manager’s office to let her know, and then heads out to the entrance area.  

His coworker waves him off when Hide tries to pay her for the coffee he can see in front of Kaneki. He eyes her suspiciously before turning to Kaneki, eyes cheerful and roving over his friend quickly to see if there’s anything he’s missed.  

His friend is holding his right shoulder away from Hide-- a sure warning sign to stay away from that side for now.

Grasping his friend’s wrist, Hide pulls him out of his seat and gives him just enough time to grab his coffee before he’s tugging him out the door into the street.  

“Did you want to grab burgers?” Hide asks, and when Kaneki shakes his head, he continues, “Drop by the bookstore on the way home?” Kaneki shakes his head again, even more worrying.  He pokes Kaneki’s cheek, waits for their eyes to meet, and then turns his back, tucking his hands behind his head. “So you’ll never guess what I heard about Sonohara from three doors down.”

“What did you hear?” Kaneki says, voice a bit stilted.  

“I heard she can juggle knives,” Hide reveals. “Can you imagine how long you’d have to train to get that kind of skill?” He waves his arms outward in a parody of the action.  “I bet she’d be the worst person to try to rob during dinner time. Scwack! A knife right between your fingers!”

Kaneki smiles at him, a laugh hiding itself behind his lips, and that won’t do.  

“If you ever hear about my apartment complex getting robbed,” Hide leans in, as if confiding, “you’ll be able to find me behind her, waiting for her to protect me.”

Kaneki laughs, and Hide would pump his fist in victory if not for the words that came next: “If you tried to get into her apartment, I bet you’d have other problems than robbers. Sonohara’s first target would be _you_.”

Raising a hand to his chest, mock offended, Hide argues, “It would not! I’m trustworthy and she would totally let me in!”

It turns out that Kaneki wants to stop by the combini, and Hide eyes the gauze and medical tape that goes onto the counter suspiciously. His eyes smoothly slip onto Kaneki’s right shoulder, and it— could be bulkier than usual, like there’s some bandage there already.  

“Do you want to come over?” Hide offers, easy.

Kaneki nods, but says, all sass, “Are you going to cook dinner?” He dodges the swipe Hide makes for his head, grabbing the bag off the counter and walking towards the exit.  

Hide swipes up Kaneki’s change from the counter with a brief apology to the cashier for the delay, and heads after him.  He sticks the change into the bag Kaneki’s carrying, and skips ahead to sprint up the stairs to his apartment.  By the time Kaneki’s at the top of the stairs, Hide’s swinging his key around his finger, leaning against the open doorframe.

“ _Slow_ ,” Hide complains cheerfully.

“You ran,” Kaneki responds, wry, “I wouldn’t dare arrive before the door was unlocked.”

Clicking his tongue, Hide shucks off his shoes, entering his apartment and turning on the lights.  He drops his schoolbag onto the floor, going to close the curtain on his only window, and turns to see Kaneki seated on the floor, already taking out the gauze.  Hide detours to his bathroom for cotton swabs and rubbing alcohol.  

“Off, off, off with the shirt!” He commands from the bathroom as he washes his hands.

It’s easy to wrap the items in a soft cloth, carry them to where Kaneki is seated.  His shirt’s only half-off, but his right shoulder is exposed already, bloody bandage hanging off of it like an afterthought. Hide peels away the used bandage, dropping it into the plastic bag as he goes, trying not to think about why or when or how.  If Kaneki wants to tell him, he will.  Kaneki doesn’t flinch, staring at some point in the distance, and Hide never knows what to say at these moments.  

He doesn’t know if there’s anything he ever could say, in these moments.

The bandage stripped away, there are four long gashes across Kaneki’s shoulder, the skin raw and pink.  Hide soaks a cotton swab in alcohol, bringing it to Kaneki’s shoulder to wipe away the blood and dust in the wound.  “So if you were stuck in a ship,” he wonders, “would you use your booze to disinfect wounds if you had to?” He cleans the shoulder in quick stripes, trying to remove the debris as gently as he can.

Kaneki flinches a bit at the first touch, replying, “I would.”

“Do you think your crew would revolt against you?” Hide asks.  The wounds are as clean as they’re going to get, and he lets his eyes wander over Kaneki’s shoulder, checking for other injuries.  He ignores the faint scribbling across the shoulder, half torn away by the gashes, as he always does.  

“I’d bring them in with force,” Kaneki decides. “Prevention of infection is worth more than a moment of drunkenness.”  

“Hm,” Hide murmurs.

“You don’t think that would work?” Kaneki asks.

“Well, I think you’d be more likely to reel ‘em in with your charisma and kindness.” Hide says, pressing the gauze pad against the scrapes tightly.  He tapes the edges down, first with medical tape and then with a strip of plastic, holding his hand out for the bandage roll.  After Kaneki hands it to him, he continues, “It’s better to have friends than enemies, after all.”

Kaneki rolls his eyes.  “I don’t know if that would work during a revolt. I could just let them hit me to their heart’s content and smuggle alcohol off later.”

“That’s worse,” Hide says, chastising, and he secures the bandage around Kaneki’s shoulder. “Lift your arm a bit.”

Kaneki obeys.

“And down.” Hide pinches the bandage, threading the metal clasp into the cloth.  “Good as new.”

“Thanks, Hide.” Kaneki says.  

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Hide says, starting to clean up. Everything used gets thrown into the bag to be thrown away, the alcohol gathered into his arms and makes his way into the bathroom. “You should treat me to a burger later, though~”

As he shuts the alcohol away, washing his hands again, his mind dances the the faint letters he had seen against his friend’s skin. It’s Kaneki’s soulmark, he knows-- he’s known for a while now.  But that isn’t Hide’s business-- if Kaneki wants him to know, then he’ll tell Hide.  

So he won’t ask about the soulmark, or the blood underneath Kaneki’s fingernails; he won’t ask what his aunt said to him today; he won’t ask why Kaneki won’t discuss it.  It’s not his right.

And if he pushes, if he becomes an intruder, then Kaneki will no longer have a safe place to retreat to.  And more than Hide’s curiosity or self-righteousness, more than his wishes for his friend’s future-- more than anything else, Hide wants Kaneki to feel safe.  

So instead, he’ll keep his ears open for the things that Kaneki does want to say-- so that he won’t miss what it is he _can’t_ say, words tangled up in rationalization and a twisted sense of duty.  He’ll make sure he listens and that Kaneki knows that, in the end, Hide will always have his back.  For now, that will have to be enough.  

 ****  


 

_It’s a mistake, but Hide won’t know it yet. Not until Kaneki has vanished into a figure in the distance, surrounded by people who share the secret he doesn’t dare whisper into Hide’s ear._

_(Not until Hide is alone.)_

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up being way longer than expected...and now you know why "Twin Souls" has so many short scenes. :P Still in the process of drabbling as my enforced bed rest comes to an end! 
> 
> Hope you have enjoyed it thus far and a special thanks to those who have read and commented/tagged comments!


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